Solstice Trees

In honor of the Winter Solstice, some Wintry trees.

Through The Fence

The solstice eve sky.

Extracting Color From The Gloom

The Sky Above...

On Santa Rosa Street

Paths and Lanes

Walking West

December 4 2011

Other photos from our cemetery ramble:

It was necessary to go farther afield in order to take more pictures this weekend, hence the long, cold walk in the lightless afternoon.

My companion and I kept to the old section, where the dead had been buried at least a hundred years. Partly out of respect for the more recently dead, as well as to visit those whose graves had likely not had a visit in many years. We brought a wisk broom to sweep away leaves and pulled weeds that were overgrowing some of the old stones. It was the least I could do, if I was going to

come into their place for my own purposes.

While there was a proliferation of cenotaphs and Woodman of the World tree stones, there was a notable lack of angels in the old cemetery. I'm unsure why, as the modern section is full of them. The angel stone above was one of very few. It belongs to the grave of a 14 year old girl.

It was a relief to make our way out of the newer section into the old - the new section is rather more eerie than the old, contrary to the way it would seem to be. Graveyards can be "noisy" places for me, full of desperate-feeling energy and buzzing whispers. Like dozens of half-heard people clamoring for your attention at once. No, don't ask me to explain why. I make no claims for or against the existence of ghosts (or anything else, for that matter). I only know that strange things happen to me there, and I'm not the only one, either. It's part of the uneasiness about this town, a feeling that the dead can't rest.

But the old section is mostly quiet, as if the dead are finally at rest after many years.

At The Cemetery Gate

Yesterday I spent the afternoon at the cemetery - it being that sort of gray, gloomy day that compels one to hang about the cemetery, you know.

At the gate, a black plastic bag was caught in this tree's branches. It rattled in the wind like some hapless spirit. It seemed eerie, somehow.

Mrs. Zimmerman Listening At The Wall

I'd totally forgotten I'd meant to add this drawing from The house with a clock in its walls by John Bellairs. I'd never been able to find it online.

This is probably my favorite Edward Gorey illustration, as well as one of my favorite scenes in the book. Lewis arriving at his Uncle Jonathan's house to find a woman mysteriously listening at the wall sets up a story you know will be a bit unusual.

A Place Only Fit To Leave

Reality rears its ugly head.

So this week I finally acquired a new printer and scanner. I knew another one was needed in order to start putting this art project together in some cohesive form, but I hadn't exactly been aggressive about finding one.

Just how passive I'd been became clear when I'd got the thing plugged in and realized I hadn't the foggiest idea what to do. All these drawings, photos, half finished texts attempting to say something about the place I live, all with the vaguest of themes - what to do with them? Especially when vagueness is the theme, pretty much.

It's an art project, not history. Well, it's supposed to be art. :p But it's definitely not history. That would be easy. This town is in love with its history, at least the parts (as per usual) written by the winners. Art is different, and making art about a place that's only fit to leave is not easy.

Working in an atmosphere of pervasive hopelessness is not easy, either.

In that light, my passive avoidance makes a little more sense.

The truth, according to Ms. Phantasmagoria

Had I wanted to document the ugliness and decay of a dying town, that would have been easy, too. But It's something else I'm after, and it's the thing so many others seem to overlook. It's also in the way they overlook it.

This town is weird, and not in a nice, cool, quirky way. Under its utterly boring surface of nowhere to go and nothing to do, its disorienting and discomforting nature permeates. Insanity breeds like the stray cats in my neighborhood. There is a darkness that underlies everything. Maybe it's the isolation. Maybe it's the barren flatness, the humidity, or maybe it's even toxic marsh gas, for all I know. These explanations are as good as any. It's a place where people have either crash-landed or never had the will to leave in the first place. The rest bide their time until they can get out, hopefully before they're drained of their life force and any self-confidence they ever had.

Underneath the crime, poverty, despair and the seamless insistence from city officials that everything is fine, just fine in our lovely town, thank-you-very-much, something else leaks out. Whatever it is, it's creepy as hell. And you aren't supposed to talk about it.

Which leads me where I am today, with a messy attempt to capture something unseen and hard to define, the "truth" of the place as I see it, which you aren't supposed to discuss and a good portion of the population is too miserable or insane to care. I could collect all this work into a book, write and design it to the best of my ability, make it as good and clever as I possibly can, and what I have at the end of the day is a book that even the local library wouldn't carry. :/

But then I must reconsider. This project is not a labor of love. It's a distraction from the hate. It's an attempt to make something of value where art has no value. It's mine alone, good or bad as it is. And if there is one thing this place trucks in, it is hopelessness. If I give in, I become like the others who've lost their will to care. There is already too much of that here. I don't want to go any further down that road.

There's nothing left to do but work.

* I know the photo at the top is unrelated to the post (except inasmuch as i made both of them) I thought of using a photo of a slug or palmetto bug to express my feelings, but that's just gross.

Greenery In Black And White

The Charcoal Effect

Holiday Lights

Gaslit

These pictures are very cropped, but I do like the mood of them.

It's also interesting that once again, here is a fence that keeps others out and a doorway to let them in.

This Church Doesn't Want To Be Photographed...

Though I kept trying anyway.

Allow me to explain.

Searching my neighborhood for something interesting to draw, paint or photograph isn't easy. Well, the roaming is fine, if you don't mind suspicious people constantly asking what you're doing and the cops circling you in their patrol cars. :p But as for interesting, that's a toughie. Sometimes I find myself looking for grafitti or new piles of rubble near the crackhouse in desperation. Often I find myself scouting out the church down the block, hoping for some new, previously unseen angle that might make a nice picture.

I've been doing this for about three years and still haven't managed it. Every time I think I've got a shot - this Gothic archway here, or that stained glass window there, it turns out I've got nada. Just a mess. The one time I almost got a good shot, the lens was covered in pollen, so it just seemed to be surrounded by ghostly orbs. Typical. :/ And it was definitely pollen, not ghosts. If I had to choose the local church most likely to be haunted, it would not be this one.

It's a Lutheran church, not especially old, as these things go. It's fairly plain, with a mishmash of styles, thanks to the additions and annexes that just aren't in keeping with the original structure.

My brother tells me that this is because whichever minister is in charge at the time chooses the designs, and there might be a number of ministers with differing taste over the years...hence the muddle one often sees in sprawling American churches.

Anyway, there is nothing at all spooky or unnerving about this place. Especially as I was raised (sort of) Lutheran and associate Lutherans with our hippie guitar-playing minister, who sang folk songs and went around cheerfully shouting "peace" and "shalom!" to everyone. There is nothing sinister to me about Lutherans. And there are a few other churches in the neighborhood that are far more imposing than this one. I never had a problem getting great pics of those, either.

I came to the conclusion that the church simply doesn't want to be photographed a few weeks ago, when I went down specially to try again. I was going to get a half-decent, somewhat interesting shot of this church. It was a matter of pride. It was a challenge.

I came back with some of the worst photos I'd ever taken. I hadn't even managed to capture the back steps or the service entrance door. It was a humbling moment.The church had won. I began to wonder if the church didn't like me and was showing its displeasure by refusing to cooperate. (If you had seen these photos, dear reader, you would understand why I had begun to take this personally. :p) After all, my parents had lapsed from the church and we children had all wandered on to different faiths in time.

Leave it to me to find religious guilt in some failed photographs. Ha.

Well, there wasn't much more to do about it, I had tried my best and failed. I wasn't going to bother trying again. However, it so happened the other night that my companion and I had to pass this church on the way to our destination, and he said, "hey, what's that in the window?" so of course I looked and the urge to grab the camera overcame me once again. Maybe just a picture of the window? Just so we could possibly make out what that odd shape was?

When I uploaded the pics later, all of them looked entirely black. Typical. :/

Seriously, this was beginning to seem supernatural. No one sucks at photography that bad!

I was bored though, and started playing with different photo effects just to see what would happen. And that's how I got this:

Now I kind of wish I hadn't. O Lutheran Church, I totally underestimated your ability to creep me out.

Cheating

It's frustrating that I can't seem to align my photos the way they should be (and not for lack of trying, either!) I suppose I can cheat a bit (but only a bit) by adding a photo effect ....

But... well, that is cheating, isn't it. :/

(By the way, that's the underside of the gazebo roof downtown)

Shadows

Shadows cast by the porch railing at 3PM.

Some Alterations

I still have a lot of trouble with knowing the right way to crop a photo, or how much alteration is too much. I guess I would rather have something pleasing to my eye rather that something that's properly "artistic"? I don't even mind blurriness like is present in some of the photos. The feeling of a place is more important than actual visual information to me, but I can see how this might be irritating to outside viewers.

Subterranean Light

An underground light near the bank. This particular bank branch is closed now, but the lights in the drive-through stay on through the night.

The View From The Garden Ground

While normally I don't like to do too much photo editing, I couldn't resist that lovely shade of blue. ;)

Spookiness Is Afoot Downtown

Late last night, while taking a walk with the family in this nice cooler weather, I snapped these pics outside the newspaper building . They did not come out as anticipated - to say the least!

One may wonder why take pictures of the newpaper building in the first place. It's not exactly a wonder of great beauty and architechture. Simple answer - the area gives me the creeps. And I haven't called my project "Victoria Phantasmagoria" for nothing. Still, I was unnerved to see what look like playful little shades lurking around the perimeter of the fence on the last pic. Sure, lots of mistakes must have gone into creating this image, but...none of the other photos I took even a few feet away look like this.

It's kind of appropriate that not far from that spot is a bit of graffitti on the sidewalk that says "not here".

(I posted the third photo to my Tumblr last night but wanted to place all three together here)