"The glacier knocks in the cupboard, The desert sighs in the bed, And the crack in the teacup opens A lane to the land of the dead."

-W.H. Auden

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

This Church Doesn't Want To Be Photographed...

Though I kept trying anyway.

Allow me to explain.

Searching my neighborhood for something interesting to draw, paint or photograph isn't easy. Well, the roaming is fine, if you don't mind suspicious people constantly asking what you're doing and the cops circling you in their patrol cars. :p But as for interesting, that's a toughie. Sometimes I find myself looking for grafitti or new piles of rubble near the crackhouse in desperation. Often I find myself scouting out the church down the block, hoping for some new, previously unseen angle that might make a nice picture.

I've been doing this for about three years and still haven't managed it. Every time I think I've got a shot - this Gothic archway here, or that stained glass window there, it turns out I've got nada. Just a mess. The one time I almost got a good shot, the lens was covered in pollen, so it just seemed to be surrounded by ghostly orbs. Typical. :/ And it was definitely pollen, not ghosts. If I had to choose the local church most likely to be haunted, it would not be this one.

It's a Lutheran church, not especially old, as these things go. It's fairly plain, with a mishmash of styles, thanks to the additions and annexes that just aren't in keeping with the original structure.
My brother tells me that this is because whichever minister is in charge at the time chooses the designs, and there might be a number of ministers with differing taste over the years...hence the muddle one often sees in sprawling American churches.

Anyway, there is nothing at all spooky or unnerving about this place. Especially as I was raised (sort of) Lutheran and associate Lutherans with our hippie guitar-playing minister, who sang folk songs and went around cheerfully shouting "peace" and "shalom!" to everyone. There is nothing sinister to me about Lutherans. And there are a few other churches in the neighborhood that are far more imposing than this one. I never had a problem getting great pics of those, either.

I came to the conclusion that the church simply doesn't want to be photographed a few weeks ago, when I went down specially to try again. I was going to get a half-decent, somewhat interesting shot of this church. It was a matter of pride. It was a challenge.

I came back with some of the worst photos I'd ever taken. I hadn't even managed to capture the back steps or the service entrance door. It was a humbling moment.The church had won. I began to wonder if the church didn't like me and was showing its displeasure by refusing to cooperate. (If you had seen these photos, dear reader, you would understand why I had begun to take this personally. :p) After all, my parents had lapsed from the church and we children had all wandered on to different faiths in time.

Leave it to me to find religious guilt in some failed photographs. Ha.

Well, there wasn't much more to do about it, I had tried my best and failed. I wasn't going to bother trying again. However, it so happened the other night that my companion and I had to pass this church on the way to our destination, and he said, "hey, what's that in the window?" so of course I looked and the urge to grab the camera overcame me once again. Maybe just a picture of the window? Just so we could possibly make out what that odd shape was?

When I uploaded the pics later, all of them looked entirely black. Typical. :/
Seriously, this was beginning to seem supernatural. No one sucks at photography that bad!
I was bored though, and started playing with different photo effects just to see what would happen. And that's how I got this:




Now I kind of wish I hadn't. O Lutheran Church, I totally underestimated your ability to creep me out.










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