Sometimes I think I didn't pay enough attention to the yew tree at the corner of the house.

That. Just that, really. The yew tree standing in for all the things I should have noticed more, cared for, appreciated in the time I lived in this place. 

Scanning The Far Horizon

Or at least the horizon of July, 2016.

As this is a time of potential changes for my family, I thought I'd break out the trusty Russian Gypsy Fortune Telling Cards and see what's ahead for the month. There had already been a few good omens (several  synchronicities, a crane flying overhead while I prayed to Quan Yin) and the Chinese fortune sticks had also given a pleasant forecast, whatever way we choose to go. I was curious as to what these cards would say.

For posterity, here is the reading, in short version:

Apple, second position - a pleasant unexpected occurrence, a present.

Clover, second position - happiness, slightly clouded by a misunderstanding.

Handshake, first position - a strong friendship will support you your entire life.

Lily, first position - a happy life full of meaning.

Branches, fourth position - tears, an offense.

Pig, first position - purely a happy and prosperous year.

Anchor, third position- disillusionment with the ideal, doubts.

Bear, third position - you will get you want, though not in the immediate future.

Final card, synthesis -
Crayfish, fourth position - too much haste often defeats the business.
Scales, third position - if you maintain your balance, you will come out whole from a predicament.
Fisher King, fourth position - in a difficult moment, you won't sink but will rise to the surface.
House, third position - beware of people surrounding you.

Final card, final outcome-
Crayfish - having made too bold a step, you will back off.
Scales - in your fate, good will outweigh evil
Fisher King - fortune, especially on the sea.
House - you will enjoy success in all affairs.

All in all, I was quite pleased with this reading. It went along very well with the others, and while a couple of cards were less than fabulous, they make perfect sense in context of the situation.

I do have to wonder if it means that we will put off our changes for a little while, until the time is just right. But there's this feeling that the choice will be ours to make, either way.

Who knows what will happen? But as of this moment, that's the lay of the land.


Yes, I know the fish card is not officially named the "fisher king" but that's what we call him and it's a lucky tradition these days.

The End

Suddenly, my time in this place is at an end. It wasn't long ago that I thought I'd never make it out. Now I'm about to go back the way I came. Almost. I came here with a lot of hope. Things were looking up then, but it didn't last. The despair is like the humidity and the pollution - always present, always oppressive. It's hard to breathe here. It's also hard to leave. Isolation and low wages make an effective trap. Of those who manage to go, far more are running away in desperation than running toward a better opportunity. Like most of my friends before me, I'm one of the former. Still, anyone who lives in a place so long must have some attachments. If nothing else, it's familiar. You know the best angle of sunlight at which time of day. You have your favorite route for walking, or the corner of the bookstore you like best. You find a certain comfort in the habits of your neighbors.

 In places like these, beauty is indeed relative. You must pay attention to notice it leaking through the cracks in the sidewalk or in the jumbled words of a schizophrenic man. Beauty which must be searched for is that much more valuable. But...today is the last time for many of these things. They'll continue to exist, yes, but without me. Now we tie up loose ends the best we can, retrace our daily steps knowing that this won't be happening again. What was ordinary unexpectedly becomes poignant. Tomorrow, I'll never see this house again. At least, not from where I sit tonight.

 

It hasn't been much, but it's all I've had for years. Sometimes, even prisoners are afraid when it's time to be freed.